The hurt-back tendency

Sometimes you wonder how ordinary situations degenerates into turbulent scenarios, how a little consideration of the other fellow could have made a different impact and created a different story.

We can be real funny sometimes. Here is John, he is 22, and he is fond of making funny errors. Its not like he loves making those errors but they just happen. One moment he is right and the next moment, he has done something awful.

Nancy is 19, she is John’s younger  sister and she isn’t like that. I mean, she makes mistakes too but, it doesn’t happen often. There was this time that John did something really nasty and Nancy wanted to cover up for him, but first needed to let him know his mistake so he could correct himself in the future.

The moment Nancy said see what you did wrong John said “OK, but you use to do this other stuff too and its wrong”

Its true that when people are confronted with their wrongs and faults they get angry. We say people don’t like the truth. Everybody wants to be right in their own right. This is the meaning of chaos. Now the world has patented the technology of telling people what they like to hear. I won’t.

Why do people respond to valid accusation by accusing back?

I see it everywhere. I have been there too. In fact that’s how I got to realise it happens.

If you say to me this is what you did wrong, I will say to you see what you did wrong too.

It doesn’t have to be that way. Truth hurts because its true. Accepting the truth is the key to conforming to the truth and becoming better.

When I realise this my flaw. I paused. I began to talk to myself. I began to program my mind to accept the truth others say about me without throwing back their own fault at them.

It gets worse in relationships. When both sides are busy pointing faults and throwing blames its hard for relationship to last.

Sometimes people say false things about you to you as your wrong. I am not saying you should accept that (but you don’t have to make noise of it either). When confronted with the truth, it is wise to accept it.

John could have thanked Nancy without pointing out Nancy’s fault at that time.

You don’t have to hold peoples fault up your sleeves so you can play it against them in time of conflicts. We are meant to make others better by showing them solutions to their flaws.

So when confronted with a bitter truth, do you get hurt? Do you throw tantrums? Do you throw back a hurt knife? Or do you accept it and move forward?

Life is easier when your perception is broader, more easier when you relates with people whose perception is broadened.

Share with others. Please add comments.

#hurt #love

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